“What is your biggest fear?” I asked Hubby.
Lounging in front of a fireplace at a bed and breakfast (without children), we were finally able to talk about the more serious issues regarding his deployment.
He studied the flames for a couple of minutes, and then turned back to me. “My biggest fear is not coming back.”
There. It was said. Something we were both thinking, but never saying.
Now the fact is that more people have died in car accidents in our state alone over the last three years than the total number of US military fatalities in Iraq. Statistically it is more dangerous for Hubby to drive to work everyday then to serve his country in the Sandbox.
Still, there is something about being issued personal body armor that makes death seem far more possible.
We talked about the “what ifs.” Not a fun conversation, but a necessary one, and in a strange way comforting. Comforting to know Hubby’s desires for our family’s future, for my future, should anything happen.
The other comfort lies in the fact that he said, “not coming back” not “I will not see you again.”
For there is another truth we both hold dear:
I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another.
Job 19:25-27
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
MATH
“What you need is M.A.T.H.,” Chip said.
Hubby and I looked at each other and then across our kitchen table at Chip and his wife, Barb.
“What?”
“M.A.T.H.,” Chip repeated, “Man Around the House”
We were a little slow that day, still in shock regarding Hubby’s impending deployment.
Chip sighed, scooted back in his chair, and explained, “You are going to need some guys to do the things that Hubby normally does around the house, change filters, odd repairs, yard work, and the like.”
Now Chip, of all people, would know what we needed. Besides serving in the Navy himself, Barb, a Navy reservist, deployed during the Gulf War leaving Chip to single parent two toddlers.
“And I am your MATH,” Chip announced, “Well, not just me. I will round up a group of guys to help out. I am good at delegating.”
Chip spent that morning with Hubby, going around the house and property talking about our furnace, gravel driveways, and tractors.
When they came back in talking about hydraulic fluid, I knew that God specially prepared Chip to bless us. Of all our friends, I can’t think of anyone who has the combined experiences of rural living, real estate, parenting, Navy life, and being a spouse of a military soldier during war time, all wrapped up in Christ’s affection.
A couple weeks after Hubby left Chip headed up a group of people who did some landscaping, fixed potholes in our driveway, put up our Christmas tree, and other home maintenance.
You know, for the first time in my life I like MATH.
Hubby and I looked at each other and then across our kitchen table at Chip and his wife, Barb.
“What?”
“M.A.T.H.,” Chip repeated, “Man Around the House”
We were a little slow that day, still in shock regarding Hubby’s impending deployment.
Chip sighed, scooted back in his chair, and explained, “You are going to need some guys to do the things that Hubby normally does around the house, change filters, odd repairs, yard work, and the like.”
Now Chip, of all people, would know what we needed. Besides serving in the Navy himself, Barb, a Navy reservist, deployed during the Gulf War leaving Chip to single parent two toddlers.
“And I am your MATH,” Chip announced, “Well, not just me. I will round up a group of guys to help out. I am good at delegating.”
Chip spent that morning with Hubby, going around the house and property talking about our furnace, gravel driveways, and tractors.
When they came back in talking about hydraulic fluid, I knew that God specially prepared Chip to bless us. Of all our friends, I can’t think of anyone who has the combined experiences of rural living, real estate, parenting, Navy life, and being a spouse of a military soldier during war time, all wrapped up in Christ’s affection.
A couple weeks after Hubby left Chip headed up a group of people who did some landscaping, fixed potholes in our driveway, put up our Christmas tree, and other home maintenance.
You know, for the first time in my life I like MATH.
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Not Sorry
“Oh, I’m so sor…”
Krista, a high school English teacher, paused for a moment then restarted her sentence.
“Wow, this is big. I mean huge,” she said, speaking of the news of my husband’s deployment.
“Thanks,” I said.
“For what?”
“For not saying you’re sorry.”
“Well, I am not sorry. Are you?” she asked.
Sorry is for tragic events, like death, disease, or adultery.
I am not sorry I married a man who is willing to risk his livelihood, leave his family and put his life on the line for his country.
I am not sorry that we live in a country where the government not only concerns itself with the safety and well-being of its citizens, but desires the freedom and safety of those oppressed and terrorized.
It’s hard. I am sad. I struggle.
But I am not sorry.
Krista, a high school English teacher, paused for a moment then restarted her sentence.
“Wow, this is big. I mean huge,” she said, speaking of the news of my husband’s deployment.
“Thanks,” I said.
“For what?”
“For not saying you’re sorry.”
“Well, I am not sorry. Are you?” she asked.
Sorry is for tragic events, like death, disease, or adultery.
I am not sorry I married a man who is willing to risk his livelihood, leave his family and put his life on the line for his country.
I am not sorry that we live in a country where the government not only concerns itself with the safety and well-being of its citizens, but desires the freedom and safety of those oppressed and terrorized.
It’s hard. I am sad. I struggle.
But I am not sorry.
Monday, January 1, 2007
Abundant Grace
The news of Hubby’s mobilization traveled fast. Strong and immediate support came from family and close friends. But the reaction of mere acquaintances and total strangers left us stunned.
The Lawyer
Not 48 hours after we told family and a few friends I got a call from a lawyer who attends our church. Our church is pretty good sized, so I had never met this man.
“I understand you husband’s being sent to Iraq.”
“Yes sir, he is.”
“Then you are going to need wills, power of attorney, and a health care power of attorney.”
“Yes, we do.”
“Consider it done.”
The Photographer
A photographer offered to come take our family picture. Now the last time we had a family portrait taken our second child was four months old. She is now seven and we have two more children. So having a current family picture was a high priority.
Meg came over and took tons of photos, explaining that she would send them to us on a disk and we could print what we wanted.
A week later she showed up with not only the disk full of photos, but three beautifully framed pictures, a disk with a slideshow set to music for Hubby to take with him to Iraq. Plus she had printed tons of prayer cards with our family photo on it to distribute to those inclined to pray for us.
The amount of hours, money, and care Meg put into this project still takes my breath away.
The Headmaster
When we found out that Hubby’s orders were for a minimum of 450 days, we concluded that continuing to home school all four children, plus being a single parent with the stress of a husband at war, and working part time just wasn’t feasible.
So I called a local private school and asked if they had any openings.
“Well, we have space in the second grade,” said the headmaster, “but the kindergarten class has had a waiting list since last January.”
That answered that question. Other options would entail a lot of driving every day.
Two hours later the headmaster called back.
“I have been sitting here staring at our school’s mission statement since you called,” he said. “It states that we are to show the love of Christ to the community. Your kids are going to be without their dad for over a year. The least we can do is accommodate your request.”
The Acquaintance
A woman I had one or two conversations with over the last three years dropped off the first meal after Hubby left.
The Hairdresser
My hairdresser handed me a Christmas card stuffed with restaurant gift cards for me and the kids to use over the holidays. Little did she know that our wedding anniversary is painfully close to Christmas, and one of the gift certificates allowed me to take the family out for a nice dinner, so at least I wouldn’t have to cook on that date.
The Couple
A couple from church offered a week of their timeshare to use when Hubby is back this summer for his two weeks of R&R.
“Anywhere you want to go, just let us know the dates.”
Grace
Grace is defined as unmerited favor, getting something good that we in no way deserve.
The amazing grace showered on us by these relative strangers brings light into the darkest of days and is a source of great hope and encouragement.
The Lawyer
Not 48 hours after we told family and a few friends I got a call from a lawyer who attends our church. Our church is pretty good sized, so I had never met this man.
“I understand you husband’s being sent to Iraq.”
“Yes sir, he is.”
“Then you are going to need wills, power of attorney, and a health care power of attorney.”
“Yes, we do.”
“Consider it done.”
The Photographer
A photographer offered to come take our family picture. Now the last time we had a family portrait taken our second child was four months old. She is now seven and we have two more children. So having a current family picture was a high priority.
Meg came over and took tons of photos, explaining that she would send them to us on a disk and we could print what we wanted.
A week later she showed up with not only the disk full of photos, but three beautifully framed pictures, a disk with a slideshow set to music for Hubby to take with him to Iraq. Plus she had printed tons of prayer cards with our family photo on it to distribute to those inclined to pray for us.
The amount of hours, money, and care Meg put into this project still takes my breath away.
The Headmaster
When we found out that Hubby’s orders were for a minimum of 450 days, we concluded that continuing to home school all four children, plus being a single parent with the stress of a husband at war, and working part time just wasn’t feasible.
So I called a local private school and asked if they had any openings.
“Well, we have space in the second grade,” said the headmaster, “but the kindergarten class has had a waiting list since last January.”
That answered that question. Other options would entail a lot of driving every day.
Two hours later the headmaster called back.
“I have been sitting here staring at our school’s mission statement since you called,” he said. “It states that we are to show the love of Christ to the community. Your kids are going to be without their dad for over a year. The least we can do is accommodate your request.”
The Acquaintance
A woman I had one or two conversations with over the last three years dropped off the first meal after Hubby left.
The Hairdresser
My hairdresser handed me a Christmas card stuffed with restaurant gift cards for me and the kids to use over the holidays. Little did she know that our wedding anniversary is painfully close to Christmas, and one of the gift certificates allowed me to take the family out for a nice dinner, so at least I wouldn’t have to cook on that date.
The Couple
A couple from church offered a week of their timeshare to use when Hubby is back this summer for his two weeks of R&R.
“Anywhere you want to go, just let us know the dates.”
Grace
Grace is defined as unmerited favor, getting something good that we in no way deserve.
The amazing grace showered on us by these relative strangers brings light into the darkest of days and is a source of great hope and encouragement.
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